The first thing I look for at any party or gathering is an exit, usually multiple routes. The larger the group the more left out I feel. Being around people makes me feel left out.
I learned through years of trying that I am not social. Looking back I see four issues (there are many more I'm sure): Why? Why am I still single? Why is dating hard? Why do all my dates end the same way? If I had the answers, I probably would not complain. With each new weekend, month and year, I feel no closer to the gateway of marital bliss.
Here I am 29 years old, RM, BYU graduate and recent Law School graduate, but one thing still eludes me: that special someone to share forever with. In Mormon culture you could say I've failed miserably.